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Firearms: How to breed a fear monger

We all heard of the recent events on Connecticut. We all now hear how both sides of the fence are creating a schism. But what is the real issue here? Many people blame violent video games, violent movies, and violent cartoons… but are these the real issues?

As A child, I was raised on Loony Tunes. I watched Elmer Fudd fire his shotgun at Daffy Duck with no consequences. Here were anthropormorphic people being shot, blasted into oblivion, and falling off of cliffs; yet no one was hurt in the long run. What did this teach me as a child? Cartoons are funny. My parents took the effort to show me that in life there are real life consequences.

In my childhood, I was also introduced to games like Corridor 7, Doom, and Rise of the Triad. In these games you shoot your way through monsters, nazis, and a plethora of other nasties and be labeled a hero. What did this teach me as a child? Games are fun. My parents took the effort to teach me that games were not real life.

One of my favorite movies growin up was The Shining. Here you get to watch Jack Nicholson go crazy… classic. What did this teach me as a child? Movies are fun. My parents taught me the difference between reality and fiction.

Way back when, I remember playing Cowboys and Indians. We would go around and fire cap, rubber band, and water pistols at each other. What did this make me think as a child? Playing with friends is a great time to be had. My parents taught be how to be careful with real weapons and how to protect myself.

Did I grow up to be a violent psychopath who went through Malls, Schools, and other public places with a few hundred rounds of ammunition? Those who know me know the answer to that… but the answer for the rest of you is NO. I am a relatively useful member of society, I pay my taxes, I am married, and I am a pacifist my choice. Furthermore, I own a firearm and so does my wife. For V-Day one year I bought my wife a fully functional crossbow. She herself was raised in many of the same ways I was, but without the video games. Is she a violent psychopath? Not as far as I know.

Simply put, a craftsman does not blame the tool for his mistakes as society should not blame the gun for a mentally ill person going on a killing spree. In China, on the same day as the Connecticut shooting, went through a primary school and slashed 22 children. The point being that if someone wants to hurt someone, they will find a medium to do so. Why don’t we try educating our children rather than placing them in front of the TV so we can play on our phones? Why don’t we nurture our children with social interaction?

Is any of this too much to ask? I don’t think so. Maybe we should start focusing in on the real issues by making mental health not such a stigma. Maybe we should start making education a priority. Let’s stop teaching our kids to be victims, let’s make this world better by making our children self sufficient and intelligent.


Sagging: Homogeneous Homoerotic Homophobia Homogenized

Have you ever found yourself walking the city streets and noticed some dude with his pants hanging halfway off his ass? Do these people realize just how ridiculous they look? Do they realize that, while trying to look like a badass, they end up looking like a complete and total ruhtard should they ever try to ‘make a run for it?’ AND on top of it all, do they realize that their fashion statement stems from a prison system based on showing how ready one is for a quick inmate intimacy initiation?

I can’t speak for you, but I prefer it when my clothes are in proper order and ready should I need to make a quick getaway. Thus, I wear a belt… I know… how old fashioned. I even have a few pair of suspenders… shocker! No, not the three fingered kind, but thank you for the segway you dirty birdie.

Not unlike the shocker, sagging is a very penetrating subject. The trend, if you would call it that and not a pandemic, began in US prisons. Yes, that’s right, America the beautiful has ruined something else. A little known fact about sagging is that, depending on how low the waistband rides tells a different story. Wearing the waistband near the waist (which is logically where it is supposed to be. Its a WAISTBAND not a MID-HIP BAND, MID-ASS BAND, or any such nonsense)… ahem… near the waist dictates just a normal prisoner not interested in any shenanigans. Wearing the band near mid-ass tells the inmates that you are primed and ready to bend somebody over the lunchroom table and ride for old glory. Thirdly, wearing the waistband anywhere below ones ass tells everyone that one is ready for a good old fashioned fudge packing reception.
Talk about a Penal system.

Here is what gets me. Inside the prison system, inmates are swallowed up by a whole different society and culture. While outside they may have looked upon homosexuality as a prime evil, inside it becomes a social norm. What’s up with that? Perhaps the reason they find it evil is due to their being told for years that homosexuality is evil, and now that they experienced it first hand their fear of being persecuted forced them to speak even louder to avert any attention away from themselves… methinks the ex-con doth protest too much.

Politics: Why Jesus REALLY Hates You

Those of us in the US have been bombarded with politically charged TV, radio, and interweb ads. We hear how Mr. Dippyshit is going to change the face of the nation by advocating for radical changes in the grand scheme of things. We listen and hope that the promises made are not just words, but that the candidate actually has the scruples and honor to stick to his or her guns in order to actually make a change and a difference of the good. But when it comes down to the post election euphoria, they just sit on their hands as the world collapses and entropy runs rampant.

They claim to help us by watching our every move. They claim to help us by limiting our civil rights. They claim to help us by playing the shell game with our money and then just make it rain on every damn country but our own. They claim to help us by filling their own pockets. And we let them.

To make matters worse (I’m sure everyone reading this has some idea of who is in the race so I won’t name names) one of our potential leaders decides, in all his wisdom, to say that because he is a Mormon that he is a good person. Wait… does that mean that all people of that particular faith are good people and that ONLY people of that creed are good people? Of course, the opposition, no matter the side, will never question this. If all people of the christian faith are good people, why was Hitler pardoned by the Pope? Nobody wants to talk about the hard pressed issues and instead wants to play a game of sleight of hand. To make matters worse, he uses some old blue hair to talk about just how wonderful he is. Again, who is going to question this? Nobody, because anyone who questions the actions of a sweet old lady is a terrible person.

So in closing, politicians should be ashamed of themselves. Senators, Congress folk, Presidential hopefuls, and every other damned lawyer out there with a chip on their shoulder. I say Shakespeare was right. Maybe after that we can find a new douche to run who might actually live up to their word and not be in it just to fill their pockets.

Employment: Socially acceptable slavery

As per our unspoken agreement, I was not to talk about work. However, I found something that burns my cheese when dealing with employers. Basically, as a happy worker we are all supposed to understand that should we feel the need to explore employment within a differing company, it is common courtesy to give two weeks notice. We do this so as to prevent our former company, which we are believed to respect, from being left holding the bag without anyone to fill our spots. By doing this, the company looses less time and manpower and can continue to operate on acceptable levels as if we never left. I have never left a job without giving 2 weeks notice… it’s just the polite and mature thing to do.

But here is the kicker. Some upper lever ass-hat gets some wild hair and decides their numbers just don’t crunch like they should. This CFO, having worked the books a month ahead of time, decides the only way to cook the books to work in their favor so they can have an extra vacation day in May is to let go of your entire department. Does this information reach you the moment they realize that there is just no other way to work it than to give out pink slips? No. They wait, they stew, they sit on their hands and pretend that every goddamned thing in the world is hunky fucking dory. Do they live by the same standards we do? Do we get the same fair and equitable compensation for our getting laid off? Do we get our own TWO WEEKS NOTICE TO FIND A JOB WHEN WE TOO NEED TO PAY BILLS? Of course not. We are lowly minions of the corporate machine. We have no souls and not needs that deserve viewing or consideration. We are nothing but numbers on a goddamned file. Our lives mean little more than a shipment of pens and stationary or who gets a new sports car. We mean nothing to these CEO CFO douchebags and are treated accordingly. But still, we go on about our lives and pretend that we actually mean something to these corporate shills.

It’s just like being in a bad relationship. There is break up words being spoken, and the inevitable words are spoken by the one doing the breaking up, “I love you so much I could die, I just can’t think about living without you.” The same words come from the corporation, “We will just have to find a way to function without you, I don’t see how we will be able to complete the project without you.” If we are so goddamned important, then why the fuck are we being let go?

My point being, if you expect us to treat you with respect, give us the same treatment. Give us a chance to get back on our feet after you pull the rug out from under us. Don’t kick us while we’re down. Don’t look down your nose at us. Treat us the same way you expect us to treat you and then maybe we will have a lot less disillusioned people out there who can actually figure their shit out.